Monday, February 27, 2006
i'm sorry
but no other stars are able to replace the ones drawn in my old room.
i miss them for a reason.
and nothing else can take its place.
but they are also gone for a reason.
that i should no longer think of them.
i should always control my heart n mind.
but... that night... i let loose of my control.
i was happie again.
but happie for the wrong reason.
i should not make the same mistake twice.
`love
2/27/2006 10:47:00 am
Friday, February 24, 2006
i made a huge mistake by doing that. i shouldnt have. but i couldnt help it. i followed my heart blindly. i didnt think at all before doing that.
why? why must is be you? what is so special about you?
how to get myself out when i'm always the one sinking in uncontrollably?
`love
2/24/2006 03:34:00 pm
marathon marathon.
first up was continuous days of band/string ochestra prac which lasted for sat, sun, mon. comm meeting on mon night, supper. next up was seniors camp, with a 5 hr food hunt and fright night. den project on wed morning, seniors camp games part 2 in the afternoon, band prac at night, ktv for an hr, and crashed christine's hostel room. den came band chalet, and mahjong through the night, and talk cock session. and here i am blogging.
all this would have already shown that i slept for barely 5 hrs everyday. tired! n i brought all these upon myself. band marathon tmr... cos i'm playing for exonn mobil performance at LT19 on wed, and SO concert on fri. gosh...
i finally shifted everything to my new room. feels the same as the old one... jus that some things are no longer there...
embrace. tmr is gonna be better.
`love
2/24/2006 12:01:00 pm
Monday, February 20, 2006
extended.
a few more days to go.
it's time some things should go anyway.
`love
2/20/2006 09:39:00 am
Sunday, February 19, 2006
yesterday was the last night.
i spent tonight at home.
stars. lightsticks. glow in the dark paint. bed. bolster. pillow. table. notice board. maggie. chunky. ribena. you. me. memories.
losing it all.
but i know i'll still have u.
as a friend.
always.
i'll not make the same mistake againi'll not let myself cause my heart so much miseryi've learnt to nv let it get that fari've learn to play on the safe side so i dun get hurtmy heart cant possibly breakwhen it isn't a whole to start withi try my hardest to forget everythingi dunno how to let anyone else inmy heart is emptybecause of u... ...
`love
2/19/2006 08:24:00 pm
Saturday, February 18, 2006
`love
2/18/2006 11:17:00 am
Friday, February 17, 2006
sneezing my way into the weekend.
into the 3 days i have left.
yes, i'm down with flu n sorethroat.
n the thunder roaring loud..
where're u?
well...
i guess... ...
`love
2/17/2006 04:39:00 pm
days counting down.
another night down.
after tonight,
that makes 3 nights left.
i love that kelly clarkson song. it's so nice. i especially love the lyrics, because it's so true. it's such a sad song. now it's the only song on repeat on my playlist. jus posted the lyrics up on this veri blog. go listen to it if u havent. it's really nice.
for studies and activities coming up, i'm taking them one step at a time... cant rush... i'll jus have to finish watever i can in the small amount of time i have left. i'll be able to suvive through it.
3 nights.
3 nights pass veri fast.
learn to let go.
`love
2/17/2006 01:52:00 am
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did, It felt so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing!
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
`love
2/17/2006 01:48:00 am
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
another day passed.
that makes a day closer to it.
a day lesser for reminiscence.
`love
2/15/2006 11:32:00 pm
only in a few days time.
tonight
the moon shining bright
but stars nowhere to be found
look
i looked back at the same place once more
only to realise i'll not find it there again
feel
deep down inside my heart
i miss u... a little...
afterall, it's valentine's day
i dun blame myself for feeling this way
flowers
everywhere were bouquet of flowers
perhaps there were more flowers to ppl
gifts
wrapped n hidden
surprises everyone made specially for their someone
me
i never wonder when i'll celebrate vday
wif this element of surprise
wif flowers n gifts
wif candle lit dinner n roses
wif hugs n kisses
which all adds up to an unforgettable night.
when it's time, it'll come.
meanwhile, treasure the few days i have left, before i dont even have the chance to look back in this room once more, before i can start thinking about things i probably should not, before even memories get swept away... before i forget everything that happened...
`love
2/15/2006 01:48:00 am
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
happie valentines day.
to couples n non couples.
`love
2/14/2006 06:10:00 pm
Monday, February 13, 2006
a long day.. weekend = no weekend...
lovebites carnival was cool... =) it's for charity after all... glad i went... so... that makes another thing down... pls dun tell me i've to write a write up for it or something... i'm in publications after all...
lot's of things up ahead... i'll jus have to take things 1 at a time... i feel i'm going to collapse... oh man...
`love
2/13/2006 12:27:00 am
Saturday, February 11, 2006
some say i overloaded myself... some say i'm not getting enough rest... perhaps all of them are true to a certain extend, therefore resulting in the fatigue i'm feeling. events/activities coming up for me: lots of SO prac due to the upcoming SO concert at jubilee hall, lovebites (which is ending soon, last day on sunday.), seniors camp (i jus have to spend 2 days of games and more games), normal band pracs, and MJC alumni band prac for the upcoming joie de vivre II in 19th May. not to mention the tests and quizzes coming, and projects assignments, research reports, and essays. damn, i hate essays.
the 1 week break is coming, but somehow, i dread it as much as i hope for it to come. i hope for it to come because i can finally take a break from work and indulge myself in games for a lil while, as there's seniors camp, and band chalet. however, the break that i was looking forward to apparently isn't coming. there's a lot of things due on the week right after the 1 week break, which totally spoils the mood of the break, and also meaning that we would not get to have a break, cos we'll all be busy with work as usual, so as to be able to meet the datelines.
i feel bad. i feel bad for not spending as much time at home as i should be. SO practice is going to take up some time on sat nights. and this leaves me in a huge dilema: to go home on late sat night, or to go home on sunday morning. i know my parents are concern about me, and they're hoping to see me at home on more often. but i end up disappointing them more often then not. i promise, after the SO concert, i'm going to spend more time at home and start having sat night dinner wif my mum again.
rest assure that i haven't forgotten about my studies. i will try my veri best to make sure that i perform better then last sem. i cant afford to under-perform again.
love is like a miracle, and it comes when u least expect it. it's complicated and profound. you never know what you're going to face. to my friends who are attached: maintain a healthy relationship. true love is hard to come. treasure your significant other. and all the best for you guys. to my friends who are single: i believe someone out there is thinking of you. or if you are thinking of this particular someone, tell him/her. you will meet your perfect
someone one day. =)
meanwhile, i shall just go catch up on my sleep. or i'll really become a panda. went to sing ktv with the band ppl last night, and ended up taking night rider to boonlay, and walking back to NTU halls following the 199 bus route starting from the second bus stop from the interchange. trust me, the journey is enough to kill. we took an hour. haha.. spent the rest of the night in jinyuan's room. some played dai dee, others played mahjong. i managed to get 3 hours of sleep, before rushing down to bugis NLB for love bites charity carnival.
next week is going to be worse, and the every week is going to be more hectic and worse then the previous. need to get myself geared up for the worse scenario i can get myself into. i'll be fine. i jus need more rest.
looking back... well...
`love
2/11/2006 11:04:00 pm
Friday, February 10, 2006
chanced upon this in a friend's blog.. here it goes..
fear less, hope more;
whine less, breathe more;
talk less, say more;
hate less, love more.
yea.. love more.. n dun get hurt from the love...
`love
2/10/2006 11:53:00 am
work is piling again... it's that time of the sem again... i really hate it when i have to face so much work... can i have a break? i'm really veri tired...
valentines day is coming in a few days time... and everybody is talking to everybody else about what they are gonna do, and where they are gonna go, and how they are gonna celebrate this special romantic lovey dovey day. some are going to kusu island, some booked restaurant, some shopped for present, and some bought rings. here am i, spending another one of such days without a partner. not that i need a partner... single is fine... but it's jus one of those tingly feeling u get when u see all couples on the streets...
ignore me ba... i guess i'm jus down with one of those moody thingy... i'll be fine soon...
`love
2/10/2006 01:06:00 am
Sunday, February 05, 2006
army daze was fantastic!
good play guys! =) u guys are the best actors on earth! heee.. best crew to go with the best cast... hall 10 production rocks...
a shiong week ahead... damn... y did i join so many things?
`love
2/05/2006 11:53:00 pm
Thursday, February 02, 2006
"Some people have a special gift for giving others a little lift!"
thanx for quoting me as one of them.
"thanx for being tunderstanding too & i would be glad to do what you've done for me."
i'm sure i will always be there for u... n i'm sure u would for me as well... all as a status of a friend. nothing more. =) i'm happie the way we are. pure friends. pure good friends. special friends perhaps. i dun wish for more. i no longer wish for more.
as for the stars on the wall, i'd be able to do them myself. i believe some know the reason why. hmmm... or i can leave them empty and wait for a next better person to come do them up for me. i'll be fine the way i am now.
"so thankful for you"
i'm thankful too. thankful that after this whole drama, we're still able to stay as friends. thankful that i'm able to move on without you. thankful that my heart is back into a whole piece again.
*a note to myself. embrace whatever that comes. be glad.
`love
2/02/2006 12:33:00 am
