i hate being sick! roar... cos i'll lose my taste buds with it... sometimes can taste, sometimes cant taste... roarr... just now i was hungry, so i wanted to eat some cornflakes with fresh milk... but i'm not sure whether the milk turn bad already or not, cos sometimes it turn bad before the expiry date... and so i wanted to test whether it's still okay.... i took a sip...


and i cant taste anything!!!!!


roarrrrrrr -_-"


but my sense of taste recovered after eating some cornflakes... and the fresh milk is still fresh... hahaha...








finally full...
yay...

yay! i went shopping AGAIN!!


ermm... ya.. that means not studying AGAIN... lol... but who cares.. i got myself a set of practicum clothes at the seiyu 20% sale! woohooo~ and it's nice... though still ex... lol..

a good thing about having a camera is that you can take as many photos as you like, anytime and anywhere! hahaa... ever since i got my new canon ixus 60, i've been playing with it and trying out different functions... there's a colour swap function, where i change my blue lamp to white, yellow pillow to white, white wall to yellow, and avril's orange tigger to white! the tigger look super horrible in white.. hahahhaa.. but oh well.. it's just for fun.. =P and there's a macro focus function where in two similar photos, i focused it on different object, 1 being my speaker, another being my clip. and this sepia colour thing, where i shot my table in an artistic view.. lol.. photos uploaded below! i'm having alot of fun! (that means not studying of cos...) but i have only 1 paper left, and i totally don't feel like starting anytime soon... haha...


this afternoon i decided to make myself french toast with ham.. (inspired by lynn) cos she was trying to make french toast the other day... haha... and here it is! it taste not bad even without soya sauce.. =) yummy!

french toast with ham!

the colour swap function pics

here's the LOVE/HATE tee... =)



LOVE

sick...


earlier this morning was way worse... first it was flu/running nose/nose allergy or watever you call it... i kept sneezing non-stop and my nose kept dripping... even after i took 2 flu tabs... and then i suspect a sorethroat coming.. so i pop lozenges and strepsils... but noooo.. it didnt help either... and there was this throbbing headache since last night all the way till this morning, and sleeping doesn't help at all! roarrr... had to resort to eating panadol... thank goodness i'm not allergy to panadol.. checked online to make sure that it doesnt fall under the NSAIDs group... and so i pop 1 more panadol, 1 more flu tab, and a lozenges.... and it didnt turn better all the way till half an hour before my stats paper... roarrr!! and it was only a little better... headache almost gone, but nose still dripping, i was still sneezing, and sorethroat was horrible... didnt have any appetite the whole day... what a torturous thing to do to me on the day of exam for my fav module... no matter how much i practiced, how much i studied, i felt that it all went missing for that short moment... i was feeling drowsy n groggy.... couldnt really think... but oh well... it's finally over, and i felt that it wasnt' that bad... but it could have been much better... left blanks which i should not have left... *sighs...


went to harbourfront to retrive my SD card and batt for my cam... and then went to bugis street with dear ol' jill porkie despite being sick.. haha... finally bought my half cardigan thingy... and a black tee with silver words that reads LOVE/HATE depending on how you look at it... haha... it can be read as LOVE, or HATE.. it's cool! =) and when it's mirror reflected, it shows a LOVE... lol... love it!


and i finally bought my apple peeler!!! and i'm finally able to eat my apple tonight... lol...


ah well... didnt start the day well, but at least i ended it not bad... gonna pop more flu tabs and go to bed now... hope that by tmr, the dreaded flu would be gone...










way back into love

roar... horrible day... it's simply beyond words...


first i had a horrible paper to start the morning with (not to mention i gave up studying organic chem just to study comp maths, thinking i could probably score better) but nooooo... i was wrong.. so wrong... probably even going to da bao it...


and it snaps me back to reality, to face the situation i'm in.. i CANNOT dabao anymore.. i already da bao soooo much such that i'm already deferring my yr 3 mod just to clear my dabaos... and i desperatly got to pull my GPA up to above 2, or i'll get academic probation, or may be forced to drop maths or drop to primary track or BOTH. roarrrr... after my chem paper on monday, i was more sure than ever, that chemistry is NOT what i wanted. seriously... studying chemistry is getting more torturous by the day.. just wanted to prove myself, and prove to the others in doubt of me, that i can do maths better than they think i can... but nooooo... today's comp maths paper had to trash my hope... and now, all hope's lost... seriously gone.


and no matter how much i want to forget about it, i cant stop thinking and worrying that the day will come.. the day where i'm forced to take something i don't like, something i have to resort to taking just because the results please others but me.


no matter how much i try to console others around me, and how much i've been telling them to move on from failure and look forward to what's coming up next, i just cant seemed to move on myself... i tell them it's no point being upset, no point looking back as nothing can be done. i tell them to cheer up and not give up hope. i show them i can be strong, so can they. i show them that i'm happy, hoping that i can cheer them up. i pretend i'm okay, so that my friends won't be worried about me. but no matter how hard i tried to put up a false front, my mind will somehow start to drift away when i'm not paying attention to it, and i'll be set in a stone mode and start to worry again. i just cant do it. no matter how much i tell myself i can, i always end up failing.


i-just-cant.


sometimes i don't study enough, didnt prepare enough, so i end up not doing well. if this is so, i can only blame myself. sometimes i study very hard, prepared sufficiently, but end up not doing well. it's still explainable. i can blame it on my weak foundation for that particular module. but there are also times where i really put in effort to study, to know, to understand, to practise, and i still end up not doing well. no foundation needed cos it's a fresh module on its own. now whose fault is it? it's still eventually my fault. if this is the case, i might as well not study. does it make a difference? i'll probably not do well anyway.


i know it's no point thinking this way, and that i really have to look forward. there's always a chance of doing well if i study, while if i don't, there won't even be a chance of doing well. so i should still study. and i should study so as to not let myself down. i should study so that i can tell myself i've put in my best efforts for that paper, and not doing well is not up to what i can choose. i study so that i can at least be accountable to myself.


sometimes it's so hard to put my mind back on the right track, on the positive mindset track. while i try to think of the good things, the bad ones will start overwhelming me. but i'll really try to be positive about it. or i'll never get over it.













help!

MISADVENTURE #1
Lost of a Black Panty


Smart me was trying to take in jiayin's clothes for her, as the rain was pouring really badly..... and in the midst of taking it in, i dropped her black panty!!! roarr..



there it goes... right into the drain, where the gushing water flow...

in geri's room now! haha...


supposed to study... reached her hall at 2 plus after supper... n we only managed to start studying just a while ago.. it's like... 4AM!!!!! roarrrr


oh wells.. i expected myself to not do much anyways... i don't really like the module i need to study for now... it's further organic chemistry.. seriously, if not for the tutor (he's cute), i would have thrown this whole module away... so i should be thanking god that they sent a cute tutor to relief our misery? hahaha... his paper is TOMORROW!!! and i havent started studying for it!! i ought to be slapppp... though i finished the other two maths module... but that's another story all together, cos the other 2 modules are AFTER his module... so my priority should go to org chem afterall... but... but... i just cant bring myself to study chem.. i just finds it sooooooo boring.. n it puts me to sleep... n besides, there just ain't anymore memory space left in my brain to store any chem facts. NOT AT ALL. -period- hahaha... ok.. i'm being bias here.. but i'm really not very as interested in chem...


i'm starting to feel sleepy already... besides the fact that it's 4am now, and i should feel sleepy... but i just drank teh-bing.. so i should be more awake... hai hai hai... i've got no time to lose....














all i wanna do is find a way back into love

it's another rainy day
where roads are wet from the pouring rain
corridors flooded from the rain that slpashed in
people changing plans because they do not want to get wet
animals hiding and finding a warm spot for themselves...


while i'm in the library
facing the windows
overlooking the roads and the forest in front of the library
watching as the rain splash hard against the windows
caused by the strong strong wind
with lighning flashing every few minutes
and then accompanied by the roaring of the thunder


pitter patter













how i wish.....

emotions
why do people get emotional?
what do people do when they get emotional?


i cry.
do you?


i tink studying is just too stressful... especially when you didnt plan a timetable, or have a timetable and not following to it. (for my case, i didnt have plan a timetable. i nv did want to plan one, because i know i wont follow it. so, why plan?)


studying is never-ending, because we can never finish studying. i really cant wait for more happie things to happen, so that my spirits will be lifted up again. but oh well, it was real funny studying with meihui n geri just now in nie library. camped there from 11am till 8pm... it was jokes here n there, and lots of entertainment. hahaa... with mh around, it's hard to not laugh... =)


but now i'm tired... yet i know i have to at least finish a bit more work, so as to not let it pile over to the next day. because it's only going to snowball n then increase the workload day by day... sigh...






i wanna have a secret corner, where i can think about my happie stuff, where i can destress, where i can leave exam aside for the time being... i wish i can freeze time, and have all the time in the world to myself... i wish... i wish...










i wish...


but my wish ain't gonna come true anyway....

my likes...
will cheer me up...
this way...
all the way till after exams...


and after the exams ends...
we'll see how things should go from there...






till then..
just smile for it's presence...

today is just one splendid day!


one that's worth smiling for!


first my presentation went pretty well despite the last minute work, and claire had pretty positive comments about it, other than the fact that i still sub-consciously build a wall between me n my audience. but i'll try to break that wall. i'll try till i succeed! i'm gonna face presentation in one way or another in the future cos i'm going to be a teacher! i'm going to break that wall down! i won't let my audience switch off to whatever i'm saying!


and next, our class had photo taking among ourselves. no extra time to be photo sluts n photo whore.. haha.. so it was just a girls group photo, and a guys group photo... and then went in to hear what claire has to say for our last lesson!! 12 weeks pass so fast! i almost felt that the class has just been started, and i'm going for the GE lesson for my first time, knowing new friends, and making fun in class... and then 12 weeks past in a blink of eye, and now i felt as though i've known them for so long! (despite it being only 12 weeks). we also took class photo with claire, and it was super nice!!


here are the photos from the greatest AAU280 grp 4!
also the bestest class claire has ever had!!



the girls group photo!
from left to right: meihui, lihua, serene, joanne, yihui, alicia, me and meixin

love


is there any right or wrong?


when the whole world thinks that it's wrong
would you still stand firm and think it's right?


sometimes i think that it's all up to us to define what is right or wrong. no one can predict the future, and no one knows what's going to happen next. so one moment it may seem wrong, the next moment it may just turn out right.


for my dear friend, no matter how much u know that following where your heart leads you, will probably end you up at the wrong place, i would still ask you to follow your heart. you know yourself best, and what you want most. just know that whatever decision you make, it comes with a consequence. so as long as you are aware of the consequence of your actions, and not regret it after that, i believe you should be just fine.


i want to see you smile.
so promise me you'll smile again.
=)



when u'r at the crossroad
and you're confused as hell
think of your friends
cos they'll always be there for u.
huggies

i always loved bus rides.
especially long bus rides,
even better if it's pouring outside.


did i ever mention why?


cos i love to see the rain drops come pitter-pattering down
splashing down on the window pane
i love to see the droplets roll down the side of the window
slowly joining other droplets
and flow down as a stream of water...


i love to hear the rain


and i love to be walking in the rain




i remember telling someone
that i love to sit in bus when it's pouring
and he said we'll do it one day
but we never did...


i remember another person telling me
he'll take me to the mahatten fish market one day
but he hasnt done so yet...




i've made promises to others too
some of which are not fufilled.
are promises meant to be broken?
or are they meant to be fufilled?


if so, why aren't there anyone fufilling them?




i yearn for love
but no one's loving me


i think i'm about to turn lesbian soon...





nah.. i'm not serious about it...






today
a day painstakingly planned
a day full of walking about
and making choices
and swipping of card again and again...


cos.... it's zhusiling's bday celebration!!




originally planned at kovan for a meal of teochew porridge
but later afraid that she might be unhappy
so maybe she was expecting more


so change of plans to town
to plaza singapura instead.


from the choice of restaurant
to the choice of gift
choice of cake...
i swear i made the most decisions today!




it's her 21st birthday
how can it be any sloppy?


21st comes only once in a lifetime!


so we bought a NUM voucher from the gang
and a black rhodium ring from perlini from the sq ones
next up was the bakerzin cake
which we cant decide whether to take the normal chocolate with dark choc topping
or the dark choc heart shaped one
so we took the former
with this cute little wordings saying "happy 21st birthday!"
and a cute little pig drawing (which doesnt look like a pig at all!)


next heading to mahatten fish market
where i was supposed to book in advance
but didnt due to lack of time
the presenting of presents and more surprises for dear ol' zhusiling
and our specially written card (with lots of love)


a sumptious meal!!
and a fishy-like manager
a noisy like hell restaurant
where we can hardly hear one another speak
where it was totally like a fish market! (ept name i see)


and the mixed up for the cake
and a whole group of waiters to sing a bday song!!
photo time!!
and cake eating time!!


i swear that was the most innovative of eating a bday cake!
all 6 of us there took a fork and started eating it from side
without cutting it into slices!
and we finished the cake in record breaking time.


hahaaahahaa....


then it was cathay
where zhusiling bought her little miss bossy tee with her voucher
and starbucks coffee
with earl gray tea
and lots of chattering
and bullying of meeeeee...


i had lots of fun!!
and i hope all others had lots of fun too!!




especially the special star for the night


our dear zhusiling...







huggggs
friends forever



and i mean it.

it's 1am
but my table's still empty.


books not out
notes not read
mind not in the right place


and i feel like sleeping already.


and organic chem test 2 is tmr.










slaaaaaap me