well... can't help but to feel a little out of place for this yr's hall FOC... despite being in the main comm, i don't see myself interacting as much as i should be... maybe because the usual kakis from the third floor are all not around... jiayin, liya, lynn, jill, serene, camilia, xinyi.... they are all not around... it's so different.. where everywhere i go, i see freshies and more freshies... and i can't help but to feel a little off, cos i'm not even really close to the last yr's freshies too...

had to run off from the camp to settle some teaching assistantship stuff back in tk... ended up not having to mingle with the freshies right from the start.. now it feels a little weird to chap in in the middle of nowhere... i hope tmr is gonna be ok... it's gonna be a day at sentosa... hope i'll at least have some fun there... =)

k la... it's gonna be human cluedo soon... hope it's fun!

changed my blogskin to a brighter one!
a happier one!

all ready for a change to a happier me!

ah well, i feel that i've grown so much during this 5 weeks of teaching assistantship. i've learnt so much.. learnt more about myself, and learnt more about the ppl around me, as well as the type of life i wanna lead for the next one yr at least...

firstly, i've learnt how to be a better teacher. for the while three weeks when i was doing proper teaching, i felt i wasn't a good teacher at all. in fact, i felt pretty inferior, and that so many students know more stuff than i do! i'm supposed to be their role model, someone they can go to when they have questions. but i'm unable to be a role model. i could only be a friend, as i know too little to answer their questions. my lessons weren't interesting, and they totally have no respect for me in class.

but i've gotten a lot of valuable feedback from my students, and i know where i'm working towards now. it made me realise how much i really enjoy being a teacher, and that i won't regret joining the teaching profession.

also, i was facing lots of problem with my weekly reflection which is supposed to be submitted to my supervisor at the end of every week. after each time i received my reflection back with his comments on it, all i see is that i never done enough. i did not have enough examples to support my point, i did not have well developed points, i simply have not done enough. however, i just received my reflection for the last week, and the comments on it said that my ideas are well developed! i'm finally hitting the exceeding expectation column! i did it!!

and of course, i get to know a cool bunch of ppl in tkss! many thanks to joyce, zhihao, benjamin, chinsoon, fiona, grace, jialing, and leeling! u guys really made my stay in tk a really enjoyable one! without you guys, i would really have suffered there, as life would be so mundane and piled up with nothing but work. love u guys totally! u guys really made me a much happier person now!

next issue was my nie modules and the clashes... well, i followed what i really want, and stuck on to math. be it whether i can or can't take all the modules i need to take this semester, i'll still look on the bright side and accept whatever that comes. if i really have to stay a sem, so be it. i've learnt to take everything easy. if there's no more timetable clash, i'll put in my best efforts for my modules this sem to make things work.

hall camp is coming up, and i'm all geared up for it! well, after hall camp, and after my most probable last band concert on 1st sep, i'm stepping down from everything and learn to lead my life at a much slower pace. i will learn how not to have such a hectic life. i'll slow down everything i can, and learn to look more and observe more at the things happening around me.

how will i spend my days?

i can probably go for lessons as usual, finish up my hw and start revision earlier than i usually would... get more tuition so that i have a source of income, on days when i'm free, i can stay in and rest, or read a book... and then on occasional nights, i can go for a jog around school... on weekends, spend more time at home with my family... i realise how much i neglected them the past 2 yrs i stayed in hall. i'll try to spend more time at home when i can.

that's the ideal life i'm looking at after 1st sep. whether i can fulfil it is another question all together. i'll try my best to slow things down....

surprised at y i suddenly have the thought of slowing things down? maybe because i'm getting tired, and wanna have more time for myself... i can go shopping and relax, instead of burying myself in my endless list of activities... i can spend more time with my friends, and not having to turn them down because i have a meeting or because i have an event to attend to.

suddenly have this thought probably because the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" really made me reflect alot. i've also learnt so much from the book.

all in all, i felt that i grew up so much... and of cos, to becoming a happier person too. so many things have been weighing me down.. and they are all making me more depress than before... but i'm really thankful that almost everything is over now, and i'm learning so much more... n i'm going back to the usual cheerful self that i once was. =)

last but not least, i've gotta trust myself before i expect my students to trust me! so i'll work towards a better person, so that i can be a better teacher. and one day, i'll make a difference in at least one of their life. =)





just smile and be happie...

one fine day in class 3A

me: nicholas, who's gary ar?
nic: huh?
me: i'm asking who's gary...
nic: HUH??!!! who is scary?
me: ya
nic: cher.. no one's scary la! everyone's friendly!
me: ?????

i almost wanna faint on the spot... couldn't contain my laughter... so i laugh out loud with them in class... super no image!


tell me.. where do u find a teacher like me?? oh dear oh dear....

started teaching!


after 2 weeks of observations and relieve classes, i finally started to take 2 classes on my own! well, that's also cos my coorperating teacher is away in the USA for some exchange programme by MOE. the kids are so mischevious i tell you, i feel like tearing their hair and screaming at their faces.... but of cos i didnt do that. i just can't do that. it's so not me to do that! but oh well, i realise sometimes you really have to be fierce and firm before they listen to you. they are actually good classes, and can learn pretty fast. it's whether to choose to listen to you or not.


been malu-ing myself for the past week too. like... not switching on the power plug before trying to on the projector, thinking the projector gave up on me whe i couldnt on it. the whole class laughed at me. brilliant work. hahahaa... and then i forgot my file and left it in the class... den i tried to smoke through one question which i couldn't answer (but i gave them the right answer the very next lesson!)... and i got caught for stoning in class (a student tried to call me to ask me a question, but i was so into stoning that i didnt hear him calling... until he called a second or thrid time). roar!!!


but... that's not always all. there're good things happening too! like today, i was super patient with this sec 4 girl when explaining vectors to her. i know how difficult vectors can be, and i had difficulty in the past too. after she finally got the concept, i heard her telling her friend (she's so nice!) that totally made my day today! =)


teaching is a really fulfilling job. i'm starting to get in the pace of the school, and starting to learn to be a good teacher. it can be demoralising at times, but there are times where it can be encouraging too! it's unexplainable! but i like it! =)

the day was supposed to be getting better... but today... it just got a lot worse... not in the mood for lessons, nor observations, nor work, nor food. didnt really eat as i wasn't in the mood at all. was informed that there's most likely no way to change the timetable (and solve my timetable clash). probably have to choose 1 of the 2 mods... sigh... which will then snowball into a lot more unclear modules to be cleared in yr 4, which is almost impossible to be done. solution? stay a semester more.


i just can't accept the fact about staying a sem more. i just simply detest the thought of it. i hate it. i wanna graduate with the rest. i know i am the only one to be blamed for bringing this upon myself, but i'm choosing to be stubborn here and not accepting the idea of staying 1 more sem. roar.


many thanks to chin soon for those wise words. i'll think about what i want, and hopefully find a way out for myself.










too many unhappy things occupying my mind these days.. almost forgot to blog about my bday! lots of love to the band members! namely my section, current and ex exco! and all others who are shou with me! =) i have a 100 bucks topshop voucher and a 100 bucks forever 21 voucher from them! that means new clothes for my wardrobe!!! yay! got a new watch from my parents! it's the swatch watch i've been aiming at for sooooo long! i finally own it now!! and i have a gold necklace from my god ma, and a white gold necklace from hongxing!!! and a really pretty bracelet from sihua and sheng! =) so happie.. haha... pretty pretty stuff coming my way! thanx guys.. love u all!!







meanwhile, i shall try and get over the fact that i might really need to stay a sem more. it's really depressing... sigh...


bigggg sigh...

today i played basketball in tk bball court with the 6 other fellow teachers! some of us wore the old tk PE tee, and so many ppl took a second look at us before realising we were actually teachers! boy we look young! hahahaha... played for more than an hour, a game with only teachers, and a game with quite a few boys watching us play... it was a good game i would say! haven't exercised in a long time, and i think this is good work out! i love this staff activity session! =D broke my nail though, and it's bleeding like crazy... hurts like crazy too... stupid me forgot to cut my nails before playing bball... can't blame anyone else... hope it'll heal soon! luckily it's my left thumb... hahaha


other than that, i've been burying my head in the sec 3 chemistry workbook... trying to do the exercises and going through the powerpoint slides as well as the notes. i'm going to start taking over the class and teach next week! oh gosh, i pray i better not add anymore trouble to mrs chee when she comes back from USA... tsk tsk... i'll put in my best efforts! i'll learn!!!


this time round at tk is indeed quite an experience. i feel i'm learning more than i thought i will from this attachment. all i need now, is putting everything into place and putting it into practice. hopefully all will go well next week, i won't panic, and students will listen. hopefully i'll be ok!


lots of things to do, so can't really fit many others on my mind...


the day is getting better...
but the night just sometimes gets worse...


but i believe all will be fine one day. =)